Saturday, 24 May 2008

Intermission...

Intermission, as in pause. I'll be back. I'm knitting but not weaving at the moment. Planning weaving, spinning projects etc, reading knitting patterns, weaving patterns and reading about silk production, but not much to say just now.

My cat is dyeing.

My time has been spent going to the vet, lying awake at night grieving, trying to look after the poor thing and also trying to appreciate when he just wants leaving alone.

He's 15 and has certainly lived all 9 of his lives to the full. I'm trying to let him go with dignity. He's a very brave and very dignified cat. He seems to have heart failure, but might be cancer. Tests at the vet have told us more about what is not wrong rather than what is. And I keep saying "... but he's not eating" and they seem to have no ideas or answers for that. He eats less and less. He gets smaller and smaller and thinner. Today, he takes only liquids and can't swallow solid food. His breathing is painful. He's weary.

But he still loves life. He spent the early evening sitting outside, watching, listening, sniffing the air, just enjoying everything. It's as if he knows he hasn't long and he wants to go out dreaming of the good things in life. He is still a very beautiful and very elegant black cat. He still sings a little greeting to me when I approach him (he has always been talkative). He still managed to attack the vet when the vet tried to give him an anitbiotic injection a couple of days ago! (Vet looked very surprised, cat had been so docile, but he used to catch rats every night and he till knows when to save his energy and when to move fast as lightening). He's going out in style. I'm heartbroken. I think my heart will fail too.

Oh, and he's taken to sleeping in a box I left in front of the warping board and I can't bear to move it so I can't wind a warp with that new yarn I ordered - not for now.

7 comments:

callybooker said...

Oh I am so sorry, Dot. It is heartbreaking to lose a feline friend.

Peg in South Carolina said...

Your writing is filled with poignancy. Have you ever thought of being a writer? Meanwhile, I am dreadfully sorry about your suffering. We humans usually suffer far more than the animal does, unless the animal is in pain. It is very very difficult to lose a much a beloved pet.

Leigh said...

Oh Dorothy, this breaks my heart. I am so sorry. It is so hard when we love them so much. Please accept a big cyber hug from me, and tons of purrs from Rascal and Catzee.

Catzee said...

An' kitty kisses! We got lotsa kitty kisses to give!

Rascal said...

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs for Oscar.

Louisa said...

So sorry, Dot, for you and your cat. I just lost one of my cats a couple of weeks ago at nearly 19 years old and her mom isn't doing very well right now either at 20 years old. I think she's mourning her daughter and best friend but she also has chronic upper respiratory problems which have plagued her forever. We're trying to decide whether to let her go in peace or to take her to the vet. I think we're afraid of what the vet will say. It's really hard and I feel for you.

Barbara said...

Very sorry to hear about your poor cat,Dorothy